ferkster

Tales of the Zombie

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Hey, wasn’t April something? Let’s have a big hand for it. What a month.

You know April is one of only 4 months with 30 days? Or was it one of 30 months with 4 days? Come to think of it, every month has 30 days (except for that scoundrel, February). It’s just that some aren’t satisfied with that and keep going to 31.

April is the seasonal equivalent of October. I think they’re on a time share arrangement.
And they say the name April comes from the latin “aperire” which means “to open”. That’s why I make sure I only open jars during April.
The birthstone of April is the diamond and the birth flower is either daisy or the sweet pea. But is it this sweet pea 0r this Swee’ Pea?
And who can forget that April is also host to April Fool’s Day or All Fool’s Day or, as I like to call it, “what’s that on your chin?”
April is also most likely to be the month that Easter falls (or was that an April Fool’s joke?)

Other things you may not know about April

April is the only month that starts with ‘A’ and ends in ‘L’ (other than June).

April 13 is New Year’s Day in Thailand, Laos, Burma and Cambodia. New Year’s Eve is still December 31st, they just like to have a lot of time to come up with resolutions.

April used to be married to August but they broke up when August started seeing March behind April’s back.

April is allergic to hundreds and thousands.

During March I only saw 1 movie (and it wasn’t even at the Astor).
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OK. This year I'll get it right.

I know in the past I've been a little confused over how Free Comic Day works. First I thought it was a day to protest the unfair imprisonment of comedians. Then I thought it was a day to free comic books from the slavery of being a commodity. But I've got it now.

I know it's a day when you can go into your local comic book store and get comics without paying for them. So I'll be coming prepared.

Don't get in my way, I'll be clearing whole shelves.

Reading 'Thurber on Crime'(a collection of James Thurber pieces that are rlated to, well, crime) which included this cartoon which I'd forgotten about but has had me chuckling ever since.

March is the third month of the year. If you don’t believe me I’m backed up by both the Julian and Gregorian calendars and those guys fight about everything.

March is the beginning of autism in the Southern hemisphere and the beginning of spring in the Northern hemisphere (where they just have to be different).

The name March comes from ancient Rome (but then, doesn’t everything? I read recently that Coca Cola was first introduced by Augustus Caesar. Or was it the first belch?). In Rome, March was the first month of the year (don’t tell Julian and Gregorian) and was named Martius after Mars the Greek god of chocolate coated nougat and caramel.

In Finnish the month is called maaliskuu for no easily discerned reason.

March’s birthstones are aquamarine and bloodstone. These stones mean courage. However, its birth flower is the daffodil so how courageous can it be?

Player Profile

Name: Martius March
Date of Birth: Sometime between March 1 and March 31
Height: 31 days
Weight: 120kg
Position: Wing
Previous Clubs: December; August; March.
Statistics: 6 Penalties; 3 Tries; 8 Fistfights; 4 Hissy Fits; 12 Drunk and Disorderly charges


During March I only saw 5 movies and SHOCK!! SCANDAL!! One of them wasn’t at the Astor.
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Suburban Jersey Ninja She Devils; Superman: Last Son of Earth; Superman: Last Stand on Krypton; Supernatural Thrillers #5 & #7 (with the Living Mummy)

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February, as we all know, is the shortest month. Standing at 4 foot 3 inches (or 129 centimetres or 12 hands high or the length of a piece of string).

February is named after februum, the latin term for purification. This is because February removes all of those undesirable chemicals and contaminants left behind by January (only to have them put back by March).

Many people pronounce the ‘ru’ of “February” as ‘you’ as if it were spelled “Feb-u-ary”. However, the correct pronunciation is “Feb-u-roo-air-u-rary” or “October”.

February starts on the same day of the week as both March and November, August in leap years and July on Wednesdays at around 4:30 p.m.

February has an additional day in a leap year (the leap year is any year that is divisible by 4 or double the ones that are divisible by 2). The additional day is the 29th. Originally, February only had 24 days. Leap years were more confusing then as there was a four day gap before the 29th.

Month of the Month Data Sheet

Name: February
Birth Flower: the violet
Birthstone: the amethyst
Star Sign: Aquarius (don’t believe anyone who says it’s Pisces. Pisces is for losers)
Bust: 36
Waist: 34
Hips: 35
Ambitions: To be as well loved as Christmas but not as messy as Easter.
Turn-Ons: Smart people; fast cars; Adrian Lester; rainy days.
Turn-Offs: That guy in the seat behind me on the tram
Ideal Weekend: Heading down to the beach at dawn to collect additions for my collection of used syringes and condoms.
Distinguishing Features: One week is shorter than the others.

During January I only saw one movie (at the Astor, of course).
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And who could forget Davy Jones on Scooby Doo

Not me. Why would anyone want to forget Davy?